'Till We Meet Again Lola Luz!

I wasn't as lucky as others have full sets of grandparents, but I was fortunate enough to know one from each side, my paternal grandfather and my maternal grandmother. They both made an impact in my formative years and I have always been in awe with them. They both led a hard life but they made the best of it. Their respective spouses died long before I was born. My grandmother (lola) Luz was the only grandparent I had left after my paternal grandfather passed away in 2006. She lived in her hometown Liliw, Laguna with my maternal aunt, and sometimes with my maternal uncle in the ancestral house.

My relationship with Lola was unconventional. I've been regarded as bitchy, rude at times, but Lola gets me, she never reprimanded me nor was she offended, at least not that I can recall. After all, I took after her in more ways than she would care to admit. My mother is the youngest daughter, hence Lola always made herself available to her, especially during her pregnancy. In fact, Lola took care of us during the early part our lives. At that time, my father was staying in Manila while my mother, my older sister and I were in the province. Frankly, my memories are vague, but my mother told me Lola was always there to help her out. Sometime later, we established our life in the city, whilst Lola elected to stay in Laguna. Occasionally, we visit. Mother made it a point that we spend the holidays there. She was quite adamant actually. We didn't mind, being in the province was a novelty, plus we get to see relatives we haven't seen in years! And of course, we visit Lola to our hearts content, made lambing  and everything, we sort of made up for the times we don't see each other that way.

Lola wearing the Terno she made herself

However, these visits became infrequent and became a luxury. We only get to go when absolutely necessary. We were time-constrained, always in the midst of deadlines and at times lacking in funds. Still, we were in touch with our relatives and updated with how everybody was. Then about a year ago, I relocated in Laguna and stayed with my aunt. I got to see Lola often. I was glad, truly. By then, I realized how we took her presence for granted and how we have yet to fulfill our duties to her. My, how Confucius would cringe at our filial piety! She was already old and though she wasn't ailing at that time, she was fragile. 

Not long after, she got sick and we had her confined in a hospital for a time. My mother went back to Laguna and was put to task by being the one to talk with the doctors, etc. She and her siblings took turns in staying in the hospital. Eventually, Lola was discharged and taken to my aunt's house. By then, she was in her sickbed. She was already having a hard time breathing and was in heavy medication. For such an active woman, this was a hard toll. Lola wasn't just a homemaker, she was farmer and a breadwinner all her life. Oh, did I mention that she was a war veteran too? Yeah, she was among the Filipinos who fought the Japanese during WW II, she was in her late teens then.

She was pretty and strong, no kidding aside! Lola depended on her own strength and raised her eight children when her husband died. She was widowed before she even turned 30. She led a hard life but she wasn't bitter. She was an intelligent woman despite not having any formal schooling. She was graceful and witty. I may sound patronizing and completely biased as she's my grandmother, but it's all true! She is my hero. 

I remember the times, I stayed with her while my aunt ran errands. We talked and made fun of each other. I even teased her about my grandfather, my Lolo Akong. She told me of their dates and their taste in movies. She was partial to local films while grandfather was into foreign ones. I told her that she needed to stay strong and live healthy. I said that we would take her with us to Manila, once everything gets settled. I rambled on and on and told her of how we would just hang out in malls, binge on all her favorite foods and watch all the movies she wanted.  I guess, I was trying to make her look forward to something better, I felt bad for her, how could her life be so hard? I wanted her to live a good life even it was in the latter part already. . .

Lola and my mama!

Lola laughed. I guess, she thought my plan was far-fetch, and maybe it was. Not only is Manila congested and hot, it's also far from home, considering Liliw is at the foot of a mountain. And though, it's not completely cut-off from the modern world, the trip  can be harrowing, especially on an ailing 86-year old woman. I wish we could have spent more time with her and bought her more things. She wasn't materialistic, but she deserved better, definitely deserved better.

My Lola Luz and Lolo Akong

On August 22, 2014, around 11 in the evening, I received that dreaded call. Lola breathed her last. It was expected, but it still hurt. How do you deal with death anyway? The next day, we packed our bags and traveled to Liliw, my father and younger brother were hours ahead than my sister and I. We had a lot of time to think, we were caught in  traffic. Then finally, at around 8 pm, we arrived. I didn't immediately look at Lola. I stalled. But then again everything was inevitable, the only comforting thing about it was that Lola looked like she was just sleeping. She did not suffer during those last few hours and it was seen in her face. My cousin told me that she even ate a hearty lunch. 

In retrospect, I called my mother the day Lola died, earlier in the evening, and asked to speak with Lola. But she told me it was pointless as Lola won't be able to talk to me, anyway. She was already dozing off at that time. Still I wanted her to know that I was thinking of her, I didn't even get to say goodbye. Lola was unconscious but she was still alive! She could have heard me. I wanted to rave at my mother, I was hurting. But I realized that she was hurting far more. And I guess, she was too distraught to think of anything anymore.

On Aug 28 at 2:00 in the afternoon, Lola will lay to rest. She will not have to endure any more pains nor will she worry over things anymore. In the place, where she's going, she's going to see angels as pretty as she is and she'll see all those handsome angels and maybe shake hands with all the other heroes too! Finally, she will meet our Maker and see Lolo again too! At least, I can send her off with a light heart as I know she suffers no more, it's the best reprieve, one can get in this cruel world.

P.S. I love you 'La with all my being! Requiesce in Pace!