Nostalgia At It's Finest

I’m going to be in my late 20's in a couple of days, and whenever my birthday looms, I’m wistful. I think back on all my life experiences, the friends I’ve made and eventually lost, the choices I’ve made and all that. Plus, I entertain the never-ending what-ifs and picture how I would have turned out if I chose differently. Am I regretting how I’ve lived my life? Maybe.

For as long as I remember, this has been my “normal”. I see nothing wrong with doing this from time to time and I do stop whenever I start to feel down. I don’t think remembering things past should be sad or painful, not at all! I’d like to think that reminiscing should leave a smile on my face or simply refresh my mind of the life lessons I’ve gained. Those things, regardless of how sad or happy, happened for a reason and shaped whoever I am now. How I turned out may not come at par to other people’s expectation, but really what gives? It’s my life and I should be calling the shots.

Am I unhappy of how I lived my life? Let’s see, most of my peers either have their own families, jet-setting or just enjoying single-blessedness. They are basically living the life and I’m thinking about it. You gotta understand though, I’m more of a thinker than a doer. So basically, I just entertain thoughts rather than act upon them. I know, I’m letting life pass by and I’m wasting my youth sitting by the sidelines rather than participating in it. You’re not the first one who thought so, and probably wouldn’t be the last. But as a whole, I do not feel bad of the choices I’ve made thus far. Yes, I have regrets, but what good would it bring me to think about them and berate myself over and over again? And as for my friends, I’m proud and happy for them. I do not resent them nor feel envious of where they are now. I know what they’ve been through and whatever success they have now, they totally deserve it.

Moreover, I’ve always believe that we are meant to take different paths and though some of the roads in our lives may intersect, it does not necessarily mean we have the same destination. So, the answer to the question is NO. I do not regret the way I’ve lived. I was able to learn a lot in the past years and I’d like to continue doing so. I grew in understanding how things or how people came to be. I may still be socially-awkward from time to time but I can now empathize with other. If you knew me before, that’s certainly a big improvement.

I’ve made good decisions after all! I’m not dismissing the bad ones, of course, but you have to take the good with the bad and vice versa, right? So, that's that for now.