Looking back, 2017 was quite an eventful year for me and my whole family. It started with the departure of a loved one. We were all mellowed out and unsure of how to go about the days to come. At times, I even found myself crying as my heart felt hollow and our house more quieter than it used to be. Though it was painful, we were able to find solace in each other and learned how to deal with our loss. Yet, celebrations were still subdue. I'm not sure if we felt that it was wrong to be too happy or engrossed. Or maybe we just got old.
During the first quarter of 2017, I planned on what to write and to regularly update my blog. I was able to deliver the first few weeks since I kinda had all the time in the world. I was invited to participate in contests, guest-blog and stuff. One write-up even took second place! Sweet! I was a bit overwhelmed but I was ecstatic. I didn't really think there were those who actually read and enjoy my ramblings.
I made an instagram account as well. I did say I wasn't going to but I couldn't remember why I was so against having one so ergo, the addition to my social media account. I was totally freaked out with the things and expressions that were becoming mainstream. I wasn't entirely living under a rock but it felt that way. My, my, I was getting behind with the time!
Then by the summer of 2017, I found a full-time job! That's right folks, at this point, I'm no longer wandering about and spending my days curled up in bed or crying my eyes out with a random novel or series, (not that I find anything wrong in doing these things). I got to know a really great mentor who taught me of how things are now in the real world and reintroduced me to the joys and (sorrows) of everyday life, meetings, get-together, traffic jam, road trips, ocular inspection, etc.. It was also through her that I've rekindled my romance with coffee, I am not breaking up with it again!
I was able to overcome a bit of my panic attacks and challenged myself to go to places unfamiliar to me and do stuffs I had no freaking idea of! In short, I was able to step out of my comfort zone. She basically pushed me to go and thank God she did! I was able to meet people of different professions and found common ground with those I didn't think I'd get along with. I attended more parties and reunions. Mind you, I never did like crowds,
except for book sales and the like. And I've realized that I'm not as good as I was
with my liquor, I'm down with a bottle or two of beer, but the hard
stuff, no more.
On my days off, I sleep just as much when I was bumming around, hahaha. Then when I got around to it, I washed my clothes and cleaned my room. My weekends were boring by my peer's standards. But these were enough for me. The glitz and glamor of a night life never did seem interesting to me. Though, I did squeeze in some Asian series, a couple of Indie films but I am not updated with those stuffs anymore. I still read manga though!!! It's the one thing I can't give up right now, I'm always checking for new chapters of Cheese in the Trap, (current fave!).
By the last quarter, I cleaned up everything. It was about time we readied ourselves for much needed change. My family and I spent the holidays in the city but we forgo the lavish spread. Don't worry, we didn't starve or anything, we just opted not to cook as much.
We later went to the province for the annual reunion on both sides of the family. We were #TeamPink, a much welcome color to that of 2016's violet. My cousins and I chipped in for the raffle prizes. I definitely enjoyed shopping for the prizes myself. It felt like a shopping spree! It was all good. Once, my cousins and I got together, we caught up with the events of our lives, shared funny stories and laughed our heads off with ridiculous antics. Some stayed up for the another round of drinks, others continued with the chikahan, some opted to keep tabs on the kids and the others sang their lungs out. And yeah, the food and the liquor were overflowing...
In truth, 2017 was a roller coaster for me. I felt good at most times and bad some days. There were days I felt that nothing wrong was ever gonna come my way but I had days when everything was screwed up, and the first and last thing I thought of was, "fvck this, I'm done". I remember during the first few months I was simultaneously working two jobs, I went home and cried out that I was fucking tired already. My mother felt bad but what else can she say, I mean, I chose to do that way. Yes, I was silly, probably still am. But I figured, I had to make up for the times I lost, the time I was clueless of what I wanted to do. It was about time I get back up, 2017 was that time for me.
It was a year of learning, coping and dealing with things that were out of my hands. I stopped blaming others for my failures. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and for getting mad for all the plans that were not realized. I've come to terms that not all things I want, or even carefully planned out will actually turn out that way. I finally forgave myself. And though it's still a work in progress, I'm extending that forgiveness to others I've felt wronged me, regardless if they were actually apologetic. Hehehe.
This year has yet to unfold. There are more parties, get-together and reunions to look forward to. More learnings, more faces and places to meet and go to. It is an earnest hope that regardless of how 2018 would turn out to be, like last year, I will look back on it with a fond smile, like the one I have now as I write this.
Happy New Year! God bless everybody! :x
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